Maybe he should do some work for Planned Parenthood?

Scene: Watching this funny video by Merlin Mann.

Me: Haha! It's things like this that make me see how it would be fun to have a baby.
HD: Yeah, but that's not the point of having a baby.

Overheard on the bus

A blonde little boy about 3 years old was riding the 41 home with his dad tonight. He was such a good little boy, perfectly happy to play excitedly with his daddy's iPhone, occasionally exclaiming at whatever he was seeing onscreen. Who knows, maybe it was nothing. His dad was so nice, just watching the boy play and talking to him quietly.

By the time we crossed Van Ness on Union Street, the boy seemed to know it was time to get off the bus, and he stood up, holding his dad's hand. Again, he was excitable, probably a sudden surge of energy before he went home and crashed in a blaze of toddler exhaustion.

"Yay! Ha ha! Going home, going home! Daddy! Daddy! Are you my daddy?!"

And his dad, without skipping a beat... "I sure hope so!"

The back of the bus stayed quiet for about two seconds and then burst into laughter.

Shilling

Scene: Hanging out, surfing the net.

HD: Have you ever thought the text in Firefox was too small?
Me: Uhhh...
HD: There's an add-on for that.
Me: Uh....
HD: Please use my add-ons! Be my add-on buddyyyyyy!
Me:

Thriller

Scene: Last night, driving back from dinner in Point Reyes Station. HD is telling me about his upcoming trip to visit his brother on the East Coast.

HD: So my brother asked me, um... <LONG AWKWARD PAUSE> ... what time I'm getting in on Friday.
Me: Uh, what did he really ask you?
HD: Nothing.
Me: He did not ask you when you're getting in on Friday, so out with it.
HD: Well, he asked me if I'm bringing my new camera, but I didn't think you'd be interested in that.
Me: Let me tell you, that's way more interesting than what time you're getting in on Friday.
HD: Touche.

I think it's time to make Milwaukee mine!

My friend Garen sent this, and now that I'm done crying with laughter, I'm passing it along.

A friend of Garen's made this, and I have to say, I'm extremely jealous of this person's talent.

This is for my sister

*Edited from original post: dang it! There's no internet video of him doing Single Ladies! Jack, seriously, find someone who has that episode on TiVo. Funniest. Skit. EVAAAAAAR.