Monday, March 14, 2011

The episode was ending.

I don't remember the plot, don't have the emotional stamina to go back and find out. The kids were singing that song my sister played by the pool at my aunt's house last summer when I'd gone home to visit. I was just back from there, though for a very different reason. I was just raw.

The song went on, gaining energy. The kids clapped and danced and joined the singing. Their voices were beautiful, as always. I get emotional when I watch that show, it's so close to home. So derivative of my own life in high school.

The song went on.

"Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father," they sang, smiling. My cheeks were soaked. This was not the first time that week, that day even. It had been happening spontaneously during everyone else's everyday moments. I had a plan to say I was having an allergy attack if anyone asked why.

"Leave all your love and all your longing behind. You can't take it with you if you want to survive." I continued on the couch, comfortable with neither what I wad hearing nor my reaction. They smiled and clapped. I still don't understand the clapping.

I have still never heard it without bursting into tears. I wonder every time if I'm the only one. I wonder if one day I'll hear it and clap.

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